Where Have I Been?

Sea BreezesWhere have I been? I'll be honest with you. I have been in a well. I am speaking metaphorically. A well none the less. Unproductive on my writing, unproductive with my spiritual growth. Moving though my days with no sense of time. Have you ever felt like this? The kids call it a funk. I call it depression. Ahh, that brings on the question of meanings and reasons. I know what they are. My family has been throwing love and advice at me, and I have just been dropping it in the nearest waste receptacle. I have had a hard time at work, the kids are just awful, I am teaching a new grade, I dislike the curriculum and the way it is taught. I have struggled there. I come home spent. The fact I got wonderful evaluations on my teaching this semester have not helped. When my AP writes "Mrs. Sartin is an exemplary teacher and an asset to the school", I put my head on my desk and weep.

Ok Sartin, you need professional help. Did that. Doing that. Starting to feel better. One week after the dryer broke and my tooth broke, I cried. Normally, I would howl with laughter and tell the story all over town. Then, THE DAY came. The bottom of my well let loose and I fell and kept going. I remembered the promise my Lord put on my heart that when I was unable to pray or even call his name, the Holy Spirit steps up and immediately prays for me. ME! I knew my Lord heard because He cannot deny Himself and here comes this prayer for this 60 year old white girl who is falling. It didn't happen overnight. The Holy Spirit is my counselor these days, my confidante and my constant companion. I am making progress with His help. With His suggestion, I went back to the gym. I went back to the horses who listen with intent and give me love. The smile you see on my face proves that I am coming back to enjoy the life God intends for me. When He was hanging on that cross, He was loving me. This week starts Palm Sunday. This is a hard week for Christians. We follow the Passion of our Lord and we weep with Him. We must go through this week to reach the celebrations of the empty tomb. The Risen Christ.

Thank you for loving me, even when I could not write. I am improving daily. If you ever fall in a well, don't despair, the Holy Spirit is there before you are. Thank you dear family and friends for loving me. Thank you dear Spaniels for loving me. Thank you dear horse Heart for listening to me. Thank you Lord, for loving me.